Discombobulated

I’ve been waiting all year for the Pirates to go on a long winning streak or at least a month or two in which they just totally dominate and win series after series.  Well it just hasn’t happened this year.  I could name several broad reasons why I think they are not winning on a regular basis, but I think the main reason for their lack of winning ways this year is that they are discombobulated.  If I could see the faces of my readers(all three of  you) I would definitely see the look of agreement.  So, for any random person that just happens upon my blog and decides to take a moment to read this article and is totally confused with that statement, I’ll explain my reasoning.

The season started out very slowly.  One of the backbones of the Pirates defense, Russell Martin, was injured and was not able to play early in the season and Chris Stewart, who management considered a defensive rock was also injured to begin the season, so Tony Sanchez took over.  It is an even year, so Francisco Liriano was discombobulated.  Charlie Morton could not get any run support, so he was discombobulated.  EdinsonVolquez pitched poorly in spring training leading to discombobulation, then he must have regained is bobulation, because he’s been the most reliable starting pitcher this year.  So, really it is discombobulated that he is the best starter this year.  Gerrit  Cole is completely discombobulated, having to go on the DL 2 times this year.  Vance Worley came out of major discombobulation to be a reliable starter for most of his time up, recently regaining his discombobulation with poor pitching.  Jeff Locke pitched well for a while, but in the second half has become mostly discombobulated.  Basically the starting staff has been a mess of discombobulation.

I will not even go into the artists previously known as the shark tank.  Well, then again I guess I will.   Their closer due to injury and other reasons became discombobulated.  So, they traded him to another team for their former closer, who they hoped to help with his discombobulation and were unsuccessful.  There are other relievers that have some decent stats but just can’t consistently be bobulated.  Recently they’ve made a trade with Cleveland to once again help a former closer to regain his bobulation.  This attempt is still in process, so the rebobulation experiment with him is stillin progress and is yet uncertain.  Thus the relievers have become unreliable this year and for the most part discombobulated.

I’ve reduced the situation at first base to an acronym, DC.  It stands for discombobulation central.  The Pirates may have been able to clear up first by resigning Justin Morneau this year.  He’s playing pretty well for the Rocks.  They tried to give Andrew Lambo the job in spring training and he had made a totally discombobulated attempt to seize the moment and ended back in Indianapolis when the season began.  So, the job went to a platoon of Travis Ishikawa and Gaby Sanchez.  Ishikawa didn’t perform great, but was decent and Lambo laid such a big egg, Ishi looked pretty good comparatively.  Before long though Ishikawa’s performance during his stint at first in Pittsburgh started reminding everyone of Lambo’s performance and he was told to hit the road.  Next up was Ike Davis, another discombobulation reclamation project.  The Pirates traded for him and he has been mostly useless ever since.  Recently, the king of discombobulation, Pedro Alvarez, has taken his talents to discombobulation central and created a 3 way logjam of discombobulation.  It doesn’t look like Lambo will be given another chance until the rosters are expanded.  So first will continue to be a mess of you know.

Second and Short have been minimally discombobulated, but minor stints on the dl by Walker and Mercer have caused discombobulated weak hitting backups from Indy to make appearances.  Hopefully Third base will be well bobulated now that JaHay has taken over.

The outfield is bobulated right now with the trio of Marte, McCutchen and Polanco, but it has also had its bobulation issues due to the wait for Polanco to arrive and recent injuries to Cutch and Marte caused by discombulated opposing pitchers hitting them.  See, the Pirates discombobulation issues are even causing their opponents to become discombobulated.  Just wish the discombobulation would have spread to Milwaukee and St. Louis.

So, once you look at it, it has been a season of discombobulation.  Unfortunately, there is no solution to discombobulation.  Healthy players are definitely a must so possibly they could try antibiotics.  That would just be lucky if it worked. A solution to first base, quality starting pitching and relief pitching are the other keys.  Until those areas are in harmony the Pirates will continue to hum along at their slightly above average pace and this season will continue be a season of discombobulation.